i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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