there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
