no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
