they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
