I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
