i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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