You smell like stripper and shame
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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