He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
