After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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