I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
