I need help removing her.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
