You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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