her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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