You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
