I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
