I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
