WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
