you have to choose: penises or morals?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
