Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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