Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
