Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
