i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
