Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sober January is a disaster.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
