your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize