i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
