OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
