if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize