I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
