Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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