the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize
