no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
