i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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