quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
