I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
