I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
where are my eyebrows?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
