Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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