so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
