we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Randomize
