Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
