either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
