do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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