Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
