I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
