Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
