You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
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