There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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