Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize