I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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