So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
