North Korea, Best Korea!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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