I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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