So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize