i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
