I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
