im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
