You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
