that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
