Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
