I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
