playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
