News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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