I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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