problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Randomize
