sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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