I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
