Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Just puked most of my soul out..
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