nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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