I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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