I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Let's get the cat blown out
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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