Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
