Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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