I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm at about main and main street
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
